More than a mom

I'm three months pregnant and I recently made an interesting observation about pregnancy-people treat you differently. Well, I know that is a revelation! Of course, people treat you differently when you are pregnant. However, it's just starting to happen to me and I guess I wasn't ready yet.

My new interactions are mostly limited to my friends and family at this point, since no one can tell that I am pregnant by just looking at me. Certainly, once strangers can see it, I'm sure that I'm in for unsolicited advice out the wazoo:) Boy, I can't wait.

I have gotten used to hearing the standard questions, "how are you feeling? or "have you had any morning sickness?", but this past weekend I heard some new questions. It was Easter and this was the first time that we have seen extended family since we found out that I was pregnant. I think that I handled my family just fine, but they acted exactly how I expected. But, my husband's family was different. Instead of asking, "how are you?", it was, "how's my grandbaby? or "are you taking care of my great-grandbaby?" Unfortunately, I can't speak with the baby, I can't feel him/her yet, and I don't have a window into my uterus. So honestly, I am not really sure how the baby is, I am only sure how I am.

I know I shouldn't be upset by this, because it's not like these were anything other than well-intentioned. My husband's family is probably naturally more concerned about the baby than me, because I'm not their "real" family, but the baby will be. I'm not angry or anything, but it was my first confrontation with a pressure of motherhood that I knew existed, but I don't think that I will fully realize until after the baby arrives.

It might only be a perception I have (probably a fear too), but it has always seemed that Moms (or some moms) begin to think that their life doesn't matter anymore and they give up their hopes and dreams for their own life. Honestly, I just don't believe that is a healthy strategy, even if others expect it. Women can be excellent Moms and still have priorities that are just for them.

I certainly expect our baby will bring a lot of changes to my life, my perspective , my goals and my expectations, but I know that I need to leave a little of my energy for me. I truly value and cherish the role that I'll soon have, and believe it will be my most important task in life. However, I won't be taking care of my child for the rest of my life and I've got to do something when the child-rearing years are over. I want to be an excellent Mom, but I've also got a lot more to do in life to make the world better. That is important to me and I hope it is important to other people too. I know that it's ok to want to more than a mom.