Loss

IN MEMORIAM: BABY PEANUT

In case you don't like to read from bottom to top, here's a quick synopsis of the past 3.5 weeks. On my birthday I found out I was pregnant with Baby Peanut (Sean and my nickname). However, this pregnancy wasn't meant to be (whatever that means). I had a miscarriage and then had a D&C one week ago. This has been a tough few weeks, but as I mentioned in my previous post, I believe that gratitude while facing setbacks is more important than thanking God for the things that come easily. Although, I definitely couldn't find my gratitude right away, I want to take a second to acknowledge it now.

Baby Peanut: Thank you for clearly showing me how to let go of expectations and care about something beyond myself. I finally stopped caring about the things that I've almost let destroy my life. Thank you for showing me how a different role could so easily become my most important priority. I'll be forever grateful for the time you were with me and always sorry I couldn't meet you. Love, Mom

Waiting...makes everything seem worse.

Well, I need to revisit my New Year's Resolution since I basically wasted no time in breaking it. I've had a hard time blogging over the past week because challenges and uncertainty make it difficult for me to acknowledge the blessings in my life. However, difficult times are probably the most important times to be grateful, so I have the opportunity to learn a lot right now.

The last week felt like it stretched out into a month. I guess that happens when you feel as if you're awaiting gloom. It's tough to be thankful when you find out that your pregnancy might not proceed. I got the final news that I had a miscarriage Thursday, but after spending six days knowing that something was likely wrong, it was actually a relief to have a definite answer. So, I am giving God thanks for not leaving me to wrestle with the "ifs" anymore.

Ignorance is Bliss

I am the type of person who always wants to know more about any situation. However, I've learned over the past weekend that knowing everything is not necessarily everything it is cracked up to be.

I love selling books

I love Amazon Marketplace and I love selling books. There is nothing like the high from making $160 in less than a day for doing nothing more than taking 5 minutes of time to list a book that I'll never open again. Since I can't remember how much I really paid for the book (I think I prefer it that way), my excitement can last until I have to go buy a few more overpriced hardcover books that I'll use for 4 months and then never open again! Hooray for Amazon Marketplace and Cheers to the new owners of Microbiology: an Introduction and Contemporary Marketing! I'm off to the post office to clear two spaces from my bookshelf!

It's my birthday! I'm 28! Yeah
So, I noticed that this post is a little misleading. My birthday is actually on 12/27, not on 1/1. However, due to the lack of technology available at Mom and Dad's, I did not post this picture on my birthday. I would have lost my mind waiting for the stupid dial-up internet to upload this picture.

Here we go, New Year's Resolution

So, I want to start off my new year right by sticking with my new year's resolution. I know I'll have a lot of things to be thankful for this year. First thing, I'm thankful for my husband, he's a keeper. Second, I'm thankful for peanuts.

I'm going to revise my resolution though, I'm going to post at least 4 times a week and post at least one picture per week.

It's going to be an exciting year!