Adventures with Bathrooms

Warning: don't read this if you are uncomfortable with bathrooms or stories about number 1.

I just got back from a great trip from Charleston, SC. I've been really excited to blog about my trip, mostly because I have some of the best bathroom stories of my life. I'm not sure why I didn't realize that going to the bathroom would become a new adventure when you get pregnant. I also failed to grasp the fact that I'd have to alter my life as a result of when/where/how the urge strikes me. Usually, it's not a big deal, I work in an office and we have 3 bathrooms in our house, so I've got options at either place. I've also gotten used to thinking ahead about when I might need to use the bathroom. However, my bathroom-sensitive lifestyle recently revealed what a pain in a butt it can be. I've been traveling a lot for work lately and nothing brings bathroom problems for me like being in unfamiliar places.

The first issue is that I have to pee a lot! I didn't realize exactly how serious What to Expect When You're Expecting authors were when they said frequent urination. The number of times and the lack of predictability of my urges to go to the bathroom have forced me to use the bathroom in places that I normally avoid. First, I hate airplane bathrooms, airport bathrooms are bad enough, so I normally try not to drink anything before a long flight, so I can avoid the 1 x 1 cell inside the plane. Unfortunately, I don't really have to drink a whole lot to have to go, so I had to use the facilities on the plane on 2/4 flights (2 of the flights were about 40 minutes).

When I got to Charleston, I went downtown and immediately decided that I had to do some touristy stuff, because I needed a public restroom. I went to the Visitors Center, found a bathroom, and bought a ticket for a historic homes tour. I was really stoked about this tour, because the homes in Chareleston are unique and gorgeous and OLD! Now, the only thing that I really didn't think through very well was the fact privately owned homes don't have public restrooms. Only two homes into the tour, I thought I was going to pee in my pants. So, I had to beg at the office (pictured above) to let me use the restroom. To be honest, I didn't have to beg too much, I just told them that I was pregnant and I REALLY had to go to the bathroo and they let me in.

Surprisingly, it was harder to find free, public restrooms in Charleston than I thought. I didn't have enough money or room in my stomach to buy food at a restaurant everytime I had to go, so I had to wing it a little. The best bathroom story I have, by far, is on Friday when I took the Charleston harbor tour. I walked to the dock where the harbor tour leaves and found a bathroom since obviously the 1/2 mile walk and 30 minutes since my last stop meant that I definitely needed to go. Should I need it, I was pretty confident that the boat would have a restroom since the trip takes 1.5 hours. There's nothing like constant motion to get your bladder in gear. Anyway, it turns out that I never had to use the bathroom on the boat and when I got off I debated whether or not I should use bathroom before I headed off. I decided against it, because I planned to go get something to eat and surely I'd make it to a restaurant before I needed the bathroom again. Here's where the story gets good...remember when I said I recently started using bathrooms that I previously wouldn't have considered...well, while walking in a pretty deserted part of town, I realized there was no way that I'd make it all the way back and I remembered seeing a johnny-on-the spot in a park on my way there. I basically had no choice, I had to use it! Well, I made it to the johnny, took a big gulp of fresh air, opened the door and SAW A MAN ASLEEP IN THE JOHNNY! WTF? Why would anyone choose to sleep there? I mean, I guess you don't get hassled to wake up and get off the park bench, but if you're going to nap, why don't you lock the dang door?

Needless to say, I didn't use that bathroom, I walked away as quickly as possible and headed off toward the restaurant where I really wanted to eat dinner, Juanita's Nacho Royale, p.s. I love nachos more than almost anything else. The futher I walked, the more my bladder screamed, "please get me to a bathroom!" and "That stupid guy, why didn't you just wake him up?" I just kept telling it, "only a few more blocks." But, my bladder revolted when it saw a Moe's Southwest Grill and it couldn't see Juanita's Nacho Royale down the next two blocks. So, I had to give in...I decided that Moe's was almost as good as Juanita's. We don't have one in KC anymore and I really did enjoy their melted cheese and their tacos weren't too bad either. I guess I could have just used the bathroom, but I would have felt bad since all the people who work there yell, "welcome to Moe's" when you walk in the door. So, I satisfied my stomach and my bladder with Moe's. Sadly, I never got to eat at Juanita's...maybe it as gross:)

The second best part of this story, is that I actually did end up using a johnny-on-the-spot the next day in a different park in Summerville, SC. However, there wasn't a sleeping/possibly dead person in the one I used.